Molly torture

It has been dawning on me that we have a problem: Molly is going to get us kicked out of our apartment. Not because she will gnaw through door frames, poop on carpeting and spread it around or because she is inclined to attacking children. If you know Molly, you know all of that is pretty laughable; however, she is a chronic howler - particularly if she feels personally wronged. Molly feels wronged often, hence the problem. Reading and talking with Germans has illuminated the fact that Germans are nearly mad for their privacy, peace and quiet. This means no dumping glass recycling after 8pm, no wild dance parties and no, absolutely no, howling Bassets.

Unfortunately, I can't reason with Molly. And largely due to my own personal negligence, she is nearly untrainable at 10 years old. This severely limits my options. In fact, I am left with precisely 3 options, 2 of which are not really feasible and have to do with a one way trip to the pound or a one way trip to a sympathetic family member. I wouldn't wish my beloved hound on people I don't really like. I'm certainly not pawning her smelly butt off on family. Soooo, David and I opted for a behavior modification device. David likes to call it Molly's torture device. He says it with an unhealthy grin. That's what 10 years with a Basset hound does to you.

Anyway, the "device" is a collar that has a small box filled with citronella spray and a sound sensitive trigger. You just flip the switch and when she bays - tssssssssssssssssssss, right in her snout. It makes her jump the first time and she does that frustrated sneeze thing that she likes to do when she is upset. The house smells very fresh and citrus-y, kind of like lemon Pledge. I think it will be a slow process because Molly is so very untrained and also kind of dopey, but I am hopeful that doggy association will kick in and she is going to figure out that her racket is what is causing the offending spritz.

I need to price citronella refills - this is going to be a long process, I have no doubt. Hopefully, though, she'll get it and we won't get the boot from an indignant landlord that is wondering what the heck he was thinking when he rented to two Americans with dogs.